I suppose its about time to give my side of things; I know many of you have been concerned for my health. Thank you for all of your prayers during that time! It certainly meant a lot to me. I now only have a small cough to show for the long week of sickness.
To begin, coming here seems like a dream now. Drew and I were just moving from one thing to the next until all of a sudden we found ourselves in Africa. Honestly, I have travelled quite a bit in the past, so I really wasn’t shocked by anything. I wasn’t suprised by the things I used to be suprised by when I travelled. For example, I wasn’t shocked by the huge piles of unfinished construction in the middle of the roads, the people walking along the road at all hours of the day and night, hearing a language you don’t understand 24/7, women with babies strapped to their backs and huge bundles of sticks or banana bunches on their heads, etc.
What was truly shocking to me was the internal response that I had to arriving here. Usually my drive to learn, explore, and soak in information coming from anywhere or anyone flourishes in times like these. Usually, I can’t stop asking questions or trying to get to know people, language, and culture. Rather, this time around, I felt completely apathetic to the people and the place. If it weren’t for Drew asking all the questions and attempting to connect, I probably would have completely checked out. I’m still trying to understand why that happened.
Maybe it had to do with arriving here exhausted from an extremely busy year, or possibly settling in for a year rather than a seasonal trip. It may be because I invested so much when I went to Pakistan, and now all of that knowledge and language is lying dormant within me, and I feel little motivation to have to same thing happen with this one. Maybe it was getting dropped off at a strange place that did not fit even the closest description of what I had in my mind as to where we would be living without knowing what to do, who to talk to, where to eat, or anything.
To catch you up on some first hand experiences that were going on while these feelings persisted, we had a very characteristic welcome to the town. Soon after our arrival the pastor we had met at the meeting in Gahini showed up to take us to meet his family. When we showed up at his house, he had at least four other guests there and more showed up throughout the evening. Over the course of the next couple of hours there were poeple who took turns preaching, praying, and singing. There were people at the four corners of the room speaking all at the same time, possibly in tongues. Thankfully I had the pastor’s baby, so I was occupied with rocking and holding her. That kind of lifestyle is so foreign to me. I know that I can learn a lot from the way in which they conduct their spiritual lives, and I am looking forward to doing so, but for now it was just…awkward. Especially because we couldn’t understand what they were saying.
Eventually, either I rubbed off on Drew, or Drew’s true sentiments emerged, and we both just cried. We were just laying in bed listening simultaneously to the call to prayer and the hundreds of bats that live above us in the roof. I have never been so close to wanting to quit before. So far, I have noticed a GREAT difference in the internal approach to a two-week short term trip, and the emotions that arise when you are settling in for a year. I’m sure I will write more about that topic at another time. We almost felt as though we were going through a bit of mourning; mourning for our families, and the security of a familiar place. Its not that we do not want to be here; we both feel strongly that this was a good decision for us. Even so, that does not mean that one does not go through heartache or confusion when making a transition as monumental as this. This is reality, and we would rather give you that then a false impression of how “strong” we are.
Additionally, getting so sick so soon after arrival was very difficult. It was as difficult on our morale as it was on my body. I felt as though it would never end, and I had no context for dealing with sickness in this place. I was so misearable. When we finally went to the hospital to get a test for Malaria, we sat on a brick wall outside the consultation room for five hours. I was so misearable that at the end I was just crying. It didn’t help that they kept asking if I was pregnant, and finally I asked why, and the doctor made a motion with his hand signifying, “Oh you know, that big belly you have goin on.” I fake smiled and told him no, Drew just patted my leg in affirmation. We finally got the results from the blood work and walked home. That night the medicine they gave me made me throw up and made me feel ten times worse. Eventually though, knowing it wasn’t Malaria, it started to subside. Then I just took ib profien to get rid of the fever long enough to move around. When I came out of the sickness, I started coming out of the depression too, and it has continued to get better daily.
Here I will share one of the things that has been the most difficult for us. Today in Gahini at our meeting with the bishop, he asked how everything was going. I shared the struggles we were having with loving the people because we can’t connect with them. The university students spread out all over the lawn every day just stare at us as if we aren’t even human while we are doing our rounds making lists of repairs, etc. One day we were helping a grounds worker pick up all the chairs and trash that the students left behind while it was raining, and there were students looking out of the building pointing and laughing and taking pictures of Drew. Oh buddy, you better believe I almost marched right up to them and gave them a piece of my mind about respecting people and property. Then I checked myself and my attitude and decided against it. Another day I was trying to help rearrange in the restaurant and there was a group of guys at a table snickering and then I saw they were all looking at me and laughing. One of them started saying “I love you mazungo (white person), I love you!” I was trying to explain that I was married and that was not an appropriate thing to say to a married lady. In the end I just went on with my business and ignored them. Later I found out that they were making fun of us (as usual), because they think that we are too young to be married. No one can believe it! They keep telling us that we must be brother and sister. Its actually quite obnoxious. I keep thinking, “So the fact that we came from a far away country together, are working together, staying together, and wear wedding rings doesn’t leave any hints?” In fact, when Menassah came to meet with us here, he said, “So they tell me that everyone has been making fun of you!” Well, if we weren’t sure of it already, we were then. Also, the workers were so sceptical of us, and often mistook our qusetions for commands and it appeared that they just thought we were domineering, power hungry people.
Anyway, I was explaining my frustration about not connecting with people to the bishop, and he (as usual), said a very wise thing. He said, in so many words, that it is better that people are negatively interested rather than apathetic. If they are apathetic you have no grounds to connect, whearas, at least we have their attention at this point. He said that ground like that is some of the most fertile for good relationships.
Drew and I thought about it and came to the conclusion that it is often the case. For example, there is one worker, Frank, who is the only one out of the staff who speaks a bit of English. He is about our age, and is the receptionist here. In the beginning he was trying to help us get around and came to sit with us very often. He is pretty awkward though, and speaks very slowly and is always saying, “whaaaaaatttt?????” when we are speaking to him. During our little phase of depression and sickness, we were feeling so discouraged to begin with, and then all we really had was Frank, but Frank, really? We didn’t look forward to struggling through awkward conversations with him. I happily report that he is now probably our best friend here. He is always following Drew around trying to help, and the two of them pal around daily. Its hilarious because Drew has been playing tricks on him, like one time Drew was messing with some loose ends of an electric thingy, and Frank was like “oh careful, careful!” Drew preceeded to pretend like he was getting electricuted and so they were both just screaming hysterically until Drew started laughing and laughing and, after recovering, Frank started laughing too. Drew and I always laugh because if Drew calls him on the phone he will say “Frank!!” and Frank will respond with “oui” the French word for “yes” (in a very high pitched, relaxed tone), “weeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!”
A few nights ago there were some other mazungos staying here, and they were going to have seven people for dinner. The workers were panicking because usually there are not many people for dinner, and it is such a long process for cooking. So Drew and I went back into the kitchen and began to help them. It was probably the most fun we have had since being here. I was chopping vegetables, Drew was washing dishes, and we were all trying to teach each other our lanugage and laughing at the other ones when they got it wrong. We heard John Claude in the next room practicing, “I. am. dryyyyying. the dishes.” Over and over. That night really helped us to connect with the workers.
Also, we just finished teaching three of the workers, Frank, John Claude, and Dative how to play spoons! Even though half of the people there couldn’t speak English, we laughed so hard and were all laughing and screaming trying to grab the spoons first (if you don’t know how to play that game, find someone who does and learn, it is a blast!). So, we are much encouraged when it comes to the department of people.
Along the lines of lanuguage learning, here are a few stories. Since everyone has such a hard time believing that Drew and I are married, he has made sure to introduce me, up front, as his wife. He makes a strong point of saying, “Umugure wanje”, or “my wife”. Recently, he was making just such an introduction, when the lady chuckled. We asked an English speaker in the car why she was laughing, and he said, “well, you just introduced her as your leg.” Apparently, the word for leg is just one letter off, and Drew had been introducing me to everyone as his leg. That didn’t help in the laughing department.
We recently had a laugh of our own though. In Kinyarwanda the letter ‘K’ can be pronounced two ways, like the C in Candle and like the CH in Church. We laugh because whenever we ask Frank, “Frank, where is Francois?” He says, “He is in the chicken!” In fact, anytime anyone wants to direct us to the kitchen, they call it the chicken. I finally told Frank the truth of the matter and we all had a good laugh.
We have had two language lessons from a girl in our church, Betty, so far, and we are very excited about continuing this process. Also, I am beginning English classes with the staff on Wednesday. I am anxious and nervous as I always am before I teach, but I know that as soon as the class begins, I will be filled with so much joy, motivation, and love, as I always am when I teach. I am really looking forward to it.
Please pray that my cough goes away. I don’t mind it as much, but Drew needs to sleep, and so does the girl staying next door. Also, please pray for my heart and mind to be open to this culture and people. A year is a long time, and I have to connect if I am going to be effective in my witness, my teaching, or anything else. Please pray for business here to pick up so that we can at least pay the staff for August, and then work on renovations.
Thank you all, especially those who made it all the way through this novel.
Julianna
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