So here's the story. Completely characteristic of Drew's and my current record, all of our anniversary plans failed miserably:) Origionally we were going to take a reunion road trip (we went on a road trip for our honeymoon), but he couldn't get the motorcycle he has been fixing up and running in time, because business has been so heavy. Then we had planned another couple of things, but had some unexpected expenses come up, so we just decided to stay here and spend the day Sunday together, as its our usual tradition to do that anyway. We thought spending it in our cozy little room talking about memories would be great. As life on the mission field sometimes goes, we ended up entertaining guests for the majority of the day, so by the time we actually got out to go to dinner, it was dark, and thus the bad lighting. We had a great time though, and we still got to spend good time together. I told Drew, "who cares about all those 1-year anniversary traditions anyway? The cake would have freezer burn, and I would end up crying because I had gained weight and couldn't fit in my dress anymore." We always have fun when we are together, and therefore it was a wonderful day over-all!Monday, November 21, 2011
Photo: Going out for a nice anniversary dinner
So here's the story. Completely characteristic of Drew's and my current record, all of our anniversary plans failed miserably:) Origionally we were going to take a reunion road trip (we went on a road trip for our honeymoon), but he couldn't get the motorcycle he has been fixing up and running in time, because business has been so heavy. Then we had planned another couple of things, but had some unexpected expenses come up, so we just decided to stay here and spend the day Sunday together, as its our usual tradition to do that anyway. We thought spending it in our cozy little room talking about memories would be great. As life on the mission field sometimes goes, we ended up entertaining guests for the majority of the day, so by the time we actually got out to go to dinner, it was dark, and thus the bad lighting. We had a great time though, and we still got to spend good time together. I told Drew, "who cares about all those 1-year anniversary traditions anyway? The cake would have freezer burn, and I would end up crying because I had gained weight and couldn't fit in my dress anymore." We always have fun when we are together, and therefore it was a wonderful day over-all!
November 21: After our First Anniversary : )
It is difficult for me to describe what one year married to the greatest man on the planet is like. I mean, its a privilege that only I have in all the world, so how can I even begin? Although I know my attempt will be far too inadequate, I will do my best.
Being married to Drew means:
-Having an incredible example of love and service for others. Every day.
-Being completely assured of his faithfulness and commitment to me. He is the most loyal person I know.
-I am appreciated for the work I do. He is always thanking me for cleaning, washing, cooking, etc.
-I get to be married to someone with whom I have so much in common, as far as interests go. I love that we love to do the same things. We have had some of the greatest times together on road trips, bummy movie days, camping trips, playing cards, going on walks, cooking together, etc etc etc.
-I am consistently encouraged to continue in my personal pursuits.
-If anyone heard him raving about my cooking, they would think that my food was comparative to the work of the greatest chef on planet earth. At the end of almost every meal he says, "This is the best meal you've ever made." I can't tell if he has found some way to justify saying that, or if miraculously my cooking skills are increasing every day.
-I get to be married to such a stud (he is so handsome!).
-I can confront him with various problems without fear of his being too easily offended, and with the assurance that he will do his very best to change.
-I am exposed to the quirkiest and most incredibly random actions ever. Seriously, I wish any one person could experience this aspect of my life.
-I never have to worry about him being vain or conceited. Haha this is sometimes to a fault, and I have to assign his brother to remind him to shave and shower for our wedding day:)
-I never have to call a plumber, electrician, mover, or handy-man to fix or do anything. Any kind of problem we have with our various homes, he can fix it.
-Speaking of, I never have to do horrible half-way hanging or decorating jobs anymore. He is great at getting pictures up straight and securely.
-I am assured that he thinks I'm beautiful (externally and internally).
-I get to experience some of the most genuine and tender acts of service. I could literally list hundreds of them. I have actually kept a list in my journal of many of them and was reading it over yesterday. I will give you one example. This past January, we were taking a group of friends snowboarding up in Boone, NC. Snowboarding is one of Drew's passions, but I don't enjoy it as much because I get so cold and wet. He knew I was worried about it, so after work one day (he always wants to come straight home because he is so tired from working so hard all day), he went scowering all of the relative stores in town looking for ski bibs for me. By the way, he despises shopping.
-I get to experience the beautiful combination of a realistic, but tending towards optimistic, outlook on life. It perfectly balances my realistic, but tending towards pessimistic viewpoint.
-I never have to be embarrassed because of his being lazy in his work. He is one of the hardest, if not the hardest, worker I know.
-Come to think of it, I never have to be embarrassed of him at all (except because of some of the really, really corny jokes he makes. Especially because the Rwandans don't even remotely get his sense of humor and it makes for some super awkward situations).
-I am forgiven and given exceptional grace over, and over, and over, and over again.
-I can completely be "myself" with him. This is not some weird self-discovery bit, but it just means that he accepts me for all of the various and sundry moods and phases that I go through. If I'm obsessed with avocados, he makes it a point to slip in avocados wherever he can. If I despise avocados because I puked them up, he thinks of all kinds of creative ways to tell people that we really don't want them. If I am very serious and thoughtful, he allows me to have that time and participates in conversations relating to that. If I want to think of every possible stupid dance move and display them while I listen to the i pod in our room, he voluntarily sits there watching and laughing for an hour.
-I can expect random gifts (even when I don't want them because of spending money) any time that he finds himself out and about alone.
-I am able to watch him consistently grow, mature, and become more and more a mighty man of God.
-Even though he is not a futuristic thinker like me, he will discuss future plans as often as I ask.
-I never have to worry about whether or not he will get along with my friends or family. He loves them all so well in very individual ways.
-I get to discuss theology with an incredibly wise individual. He puts me to shame with his knowledge of the contents of the Bible paired with his balanced way of thinking.
-I can be confident that anything free he finds (on the side of the road, dumpsters, etc) will come home with him. This is a gift and a curse, but mostly a gift. It means that a good 25% of our possessions we have gotten for free!
-I never have to feel afraid (physically) when I am with him. He is SO strong, and has been ready more than once to fight someone who was antagonizing me. One time I got robbed when I was all alone and I was even more thankful for his protection of me after that.
-If I ask him to help me, he never even hesitates or complains. Much of the time he volunteers it anyway.
-He can keep up intellectually with my deepest philosophical thoughts, and also my dumbest surface-level silliness.
-I am encouraged in my relationship with God and others, without being reprimanded or pushed too hard.
-Plans are fluid for him. If the plans change, or more often if I change my mind, he is 90% of the time up for anything. I never have to worry about him being cranky or complaining about it. He is so flexible and can really make any situation enjoyable.
-In fact, he is up for anything with anyone usually (remember when you took him yard-saling, HJ?).
-I can vent without fear of judgment. That doesn't mean he won't speak the truth to me, in love, but it means that I don't have to be worried about harsh responses.
-I get to hear the sweetest, most genuine comments without being concerned about it being verbal vomit. I really despise (and always have) the mushy gooshy verbal affirmations. But when you have a history with someone and the assurance of a lifetime commitment, everything changes. Especially when the really precious spoken things are much fewer than the actions, you can more assuredly know that they are true (plus, Drew is NOT afraid to tell me the truth or be straight up with me). Let me give one example that I remembered reading back in my journal. One day this past June, I had been really sick and throwing up. We were laying in bed and I said, "Drew, what if I throw up in the bed?" He said very gently, "I would pick you up, take you to the shower, and wash you off. Then I would change the sheets and carry you back to bed." It was so matter-of-fact, but so sweet! I believe with all my heart that is exactly what he would have done.
-I get to have the most wonderful companion for the rest of my life.
I admire and respect you so much, Drew! Happy 1-year anniversary!
Julianna
Being married to Drew means:
-Having an incredible example of love and service for others. Every day.
-Being completely assured of his faithfulness and commitment to me. He is the most loyal person I know.
-I am appreciated for the work I do. He is always thanking me for cleaning, washing, cooking, etc.
-I get to be married to someone with whom I have so much in common, as far as interests go. I love that we love to do the same things. We have had some of the greatest times together on road trips, bummy movie days, camping trips, playing cards, going on walks, cooking together, etc etc etc.
-I am consistently encouraged to continue in my personal pursuits.
-If anyone heard him raving about my cooking, they would think that my food was comparative to the work of the greatest chef on planet earth. At the end of almost every meal he says, "This is the best meal you've ever made." I can't tell if he has found some way to justify saying that, or if miraculously my cooking skills are increasing every day.
-I get to be married to such a stud (he is so handsome!).
-I can confront him with various problems without fear of his being too easily offended, and with the assurance that he will do his very best to change.
-I am exposed to the quirkiest and most incredibly random actions ever. Seriously, I wish any one person could experience this aspect of my life.
-I never have to worry about him being vain or conceited. Haha this is sometimes to a fault, and I have to assign his brother to remind him to shave and shower for our wedding day:)
-I never have to call a plumber, electrician, mover, or handy-man to fix or do anything. Any kind of problem we have with our various homes, he can fix it.
-Speaking of, I never have to do horrible half-way hanging or decorating jobs anymore. He is great at getting pictures up straight and securely.
-I am assured that he thinks I'm beautiful (externally and internally).
-I get to experience some of the most genuine and tender acts of service. I could literally list hundreds of them. I have actually kept a list in my journal of many of them and was reading it over yesterday. I will give you one example. This past January, we were taking a group of friends snowboarding up in Boone, NC. Snowboarding is one of Drew's passions, but I don't enjoy it as much because I get so cold and wet. He knew I was worried about it, so after work one day (he always wants to come straight home because he is so tired from working so hard all day), he went scowering all of the relative stores in town looking for ski bibs for me. By the way, he despises shopping.
-I get to experience the beautiful combination of a realistic, but tending towards optimistic, outlook on life. It perfectly balances my realistic, but tending towards pessimistic viewpoint.
-I never have to be embarrassed because of his being lazy in his work. He is one of the hardest, if not the hardest, worker I know.
-Come to think of it, I never have to be embarrassed of him at all (except because of some of the really, really corny jokes he makes. Especially because the Rwandans don't even remotely get his sense of humor and it makes for some super awkward situations).
-I am forgiven and given exceptional grace over, and over, and over, and over again.
-I can completely be "myself" with him. This is not some weird self-discovery bit, but it just means that he accepts me for all of the various and sundry moods and phases that I go through. If I'm obsessed with avocados, he makes it a point to slip in avocados wherever he can. If I despise avocados because I puked them up, he thinks of all kinds of creative ways to tell people that we really don't want them. If I am very serious and thoughtful, he allows me to have that time and participates in conversations relating to that. If I want to think of every possible stupid dance move and display them while I listen to the i pod in our room, he voluntarily sits there watching and laughing for an hour.
-I can expect random gifts (even when I don't want them because of spending money) any time that he finds himself out and about alone.
-I am able to watch him consistently grow, mature, and become more and more a mighty man of God.
-Even though he is not a futuristic thinker like me, he will discuss future plans as often as I ask.
-I never have to worry about whether or not he will get along with my friends or family. He loves them all so well in very individual ways.
-I get to discuss theology with an incredibly wise individual. He puts me to shame with his knowledge of the contents of the Bible paired with his balanced way of thinking.
-I can be confident that anything free he finds (on the side of the road, dumpsters, etc) will come home with him. This is a gift and a curse, but mostly a gift. It means that a good 25% of our possessions we have gotten for free!
-I never have to feel afraid (physically) when I am with him. He is SO strong, and has been ready more than once to fight someone who was antagonizing me. One time I got robbed when I was all alone and I was even more thankful for his protection of me after that.
-If I ask him to help me, he never even hesitates or complains. Much of the time he volunteers it anyway.
-He can keep up intellectually with my deepest philosophical thoughts, and also my dumbest surface-level silliness.
-I am encouraged in my relationship with God and others, without being reprimanded or pushed too hard.
-Plans are fluid for him. If the plans change, or more often if I change my mind, he is 90% of the time up for anything. I never have to worry about him being cranky or complaining about it. He is so flexible and can really make any situation enjoyable.
-In fact, he is up for anything with anyone usually (remember when you took him yard-saling, HJ?).
-I can vent without fear of judgment. That doesn't mean he won't speak the truth to me, in love, but it means that I don't have to be worried about harsh responses.
-I get to hear the sweetest, most genuine comments without being concerned about it being verbal vomit. I really despise (and always have) the mushy gooshy verbal affirmations. But when you have a history with someone and the assurance of a lifetime commitment, everything changes. Especially when the really precious spoken things are much fewer than the actions, you can more assuredly know that they are true (plus, Drew is NOT afraid to tell me the truth or be straight up with me). Let me give one example that I remembered reading back in my journal. One day this past June, I had been really sick and throwing up. We were laying in bed and I said, "Drew, what if I throw up in the bed?" He said very gently, "I would pick you up, take you to the shower, and wash you off. Then I would change the sheets and carry you back to bed." It was so matter-of-fact, but so sweet! I believe with all my heart that is exactly what he would have done.
-I get to have the most wonderful companion for the rest of my life.
I admire and respect you so much, Drew! Happy 1-year anniversary!
Julianna
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
November 9: Ride to Zaaffran's
This is us in Kigali, the capital, taking some taxi motos to our favorite place to eat in Rwanda. Oddly enough, it is Indian food. It is sort of a get-a-way for us. Taxi motos are our primary means of transportation in Kigali. They are so much cheaper than the car taxis.
Sunday, November 6, 2011
November 6: Marius
I have been reading Victor Hugo's Les Miserables for the last few months. While doing so, I have identified with a certain character from this book, Marius. Marius, for personal and political reasons, refused to receive charity from his grandfather and thus became poor and desolate. After struggling for some years, he worked his way back onto his feet, and is subsequently portrayed as a better man because of his sufferings.
Though our situation is quite different, and though our "sufferings" are better described as adjustments, I found comfort in the words Hugo penned describing Marius. At Marius' lowest point Hugo stated, "He was experiencing what perhaps the earth experiences at the moment when it is sliced with the iron blade so that the grains of wheat may be sown; it feels the wound alone; the thrill of the germ and the joy of the fruit do not come until later" (Hugo). These words described our pain and struggles so accurately that I shivered when I read it. At the onset of our time here, and many occasions since, we have felt in some way or another as Marius did. Even so, there are so many areas of growth that would not have come without first the blade; the initial pain is so minuscule in comparison with the fruit that comes after.
One of these fruits is the broadening of my understanding of the greatness of God. Greatness is, indeed, a vague idea, but it is necessary. However, it is important that our vague understanding of God's greatness comes not from laziness in study, cowardice in conversation, or from a stagnant relationship with God. Instead, it should come from a severe reverie that recognizes God's majesty, love, patience, etc, with the understanding that He is so much greater than our understanding of His majesty, love, patience, etc. These things are the only way in which we can describe or explain him in our human terms and minds, but we should begin our thoughts with the assumption that these are inadequate; He is always exponentially greater in each attribute.
This knowledge of God's greatness increases when I view myself in light of it. For example, in my frustration and impatience, I cannot help but to recognize God's infinite patience; not only with me, which is an unfathomable feat, but also with the entire world. And not only the entire world as it is now, but also with the world from creation until the end of time. All people at all times-- incredible. Similarly, in my hatred I am reminded of God's infinite love. A person who rapes and murders is, by earthly standards, worthy of our scorn and punishment, and on most occasions (whether "Christians" admit it or not), our hatred. God, on the other hand, has extended his love to all people without exception. This is somehow simple yet perplexing. It is a lesson for a child as well as a phenomenon to shudder at the thought of. His love is simple enough to comfort and warm a child, yet so complex that we can hold it in juxtaposition with any other example of love and see them pale in comparison.
A glimpse into my heart is this: a person's wounds are real, painful, and sometimes overwhelming. Some wounds are paper cuts, and some wounds are far more painful than any other mortal can sympathize with. However, the wounds of a believer, if tended to correctly, yield fruit, and we can take hope the hand that prunes and slashes is the hand of God.
Drew
Though our situation is quite different, and though our "sufferings" are better described as adjustments, I found comfort in the words Hugo penned describing Marius. At Marius' lowest point Hugo stated, "He was experiencing what perhaps the earth experiences at the moment when it is sliced with the iron blade so that the grains of wheat may be sown; it feels the wound alone; the thrill of the germ and the joy of the fruit do not come until later" (Hugo). These words described our pain and struggles so accurately that I shivered when I read it. At the onset of our time here, and many occasions since, we have felt in some way or another as Marius did. Even so, there are so many areas of growth that would not have come without first the blade; the initial pain is so minuscule in comparison with the fruit that comes after.
One of these fruits is the broadening of my understanding of the greatness of God. Greatness is, indeed, a vague idea, but it is necessary. However, it is important that our vague understanding of God's greatness comes not from laziness in study, cowardice in conversation, or from a stagnant relationship with God. Instead, it should come from a severe reverie that recognizes God's majesty, love, patience, etc, with the understanding that He is so much greater than our understanding of His majesty, love, patience, etc. These things are the only way in which we can describe or explain him in our human terms and minds, but we should begin our thoughts with the assumption that these are inadequate; He is always exponentially greater in each attribute.
This knowledge of God's greatness increases when I view myself in light of it. For example, in my frustration and impatience, I cannot help but to recognize God's infinite patience; not only with me, which is an unfathomable feat, but also with the entire world. And not only the entire world as it is now, but also with the world from creation until the end of time. All people at all times-- incredible. Similarly, in my hatred I am reminded of God's infinite love. A person who rapes and murders is, by earthly standards, worthy of our scorn and punishment, and on most occasions (whether "Christians" admit it or not), our hatred. God, on the other hand, has extended his love to all people without exception. This is somehow simple yet perplexing. It is a lesson for a child as well as a phenomenon to shudder at the thought of. His love is simple enough to comfort and warm a child, yet so complex that we can hold it in juxtaposition with any other example of love and see them pale in comparison.
A glimpse into my heart is this: a person's wounds are real, painful, and sometimes overwhelming. Some wounds are paper cuts, and some wounds are far more painful than any other mortal can sympathize with. However, the wounds of a believer, if tended to correctly, yield fruit, and we can take hope the hand that prunes and slashes is the hand of God.
Drew
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