Sunday, December 18, 2011
Photo: Our Christmas Tree
Photo: The Christmas Wreath We Made
It was funny because I also had garland on the window sill outside next to it, but the next day it was gone. I'm pretty sure the workers thought it was trash and took it haha.
December 18: Lifestyle Changes 4-6
Hugs
Hugging is one of the many awkward experiences that a Westerner may have when living in Rwanda. When the Rwandese hug, they do this sort of reaching out to touch each others shoulders thing, followed by a hand shake. As you know, in America it is almost always one or the other. For the longest time I could never tell which one they were going for, and it made for some really awkward situations. Especially when I would just go in for the kill when I saw they wanted a hug, but then realized that they were keeping me at a distance. Then I would be so distracted by the fool I just made out of myself that I didn't notice the fact that I completely left them hanging on the whole hand-shake follow. Not to mention, whenever they shake hands, they don't intertwine the thumbs (whether you have noticed or not, we do that). They just sort of touch their hands, wrists, or forearms together. I have now perfected the method though, and wonder if I won't accidentally carry it on back in America.
Bugs
There are actually relatively few strange creatures that we deal with (thankfully). The most common are lizards (everywhere), small thick black spiders, mosquitoes and other flying pests (of course), and giant toads. Iman Ishimye (praise God) that there has only been one sighting of a snake. It was a two-headed snake that Andrew quickly got control of and cut both heads off of.
Anyway, about our second month here, we started getting dozens of bites a night, even though we were using the mosquito net. I was just positive every day that I would get Malaria because I thought they were mosquito bites. We finally realized that they couldn't be, as they were on every part of the body, even those covered with clothing. We ruled out bed bugs, and finally figured out that they were fleas. Drew had been making friends with a dog, and shortly after we started having this problem. Two weeks ago we took an entire day and using boiling water, washed, literally, every cloth item that we owned. Bags, rags, suitcases, shoes, clothing--EVERYTHING. Thankfully we have incredible workers that helped us. It was such an intense job, especially because everything is done by hand and then air dried. Not to mention it was boiling hot. When the storms started, we had to bring everything in and then put them back out when the sun came out again. We are now flea free though! Hopefully it will stay that way.
Thugs
I really only made this category because I couldn't think of anything else relevant that rhymed with "hugs" and "bugs," but actually, I suppose I have been exposed to this category. Technologically (I'm not referring to other ways), Rwanda is decades and decades behind America. Usually (though not always), crime in America is complicated and organized. Our movies consist of the most intense and complicated crime plots ever. Here, it seems like their crime is simple. They need something, so they take it.
Their way of dealing with crime is also fascinating. The court system is not nearly the thing that it is in America. I know that it exists, but I haven't heard a word about it, or seen any effects of it since we have been here. It seems like the way they deal with local crime is relatively primal. While our first impulse after a theft is to call the police, here that is not the case. If a thief is caught, those around him deal with him as they see appropriate to the crime. Usually the crime is theft, and the punishment is a good beating. Drew and I have experienced watching this a couple of times, actually. Just a week ago we were at the bus stop waiting, when we saw a crowd of people about 20 feet away from us shouting. We realized quickly that they were beating up some young man. I have never experienced anything like that. I grew up with all women, and we didn't even wrestle (Except for my sister Katie Beth, who beat me up on one or two occasions)! It was so surreal. After all the violent movies I have been exposed to, a "simple" beating really shook me up. There is something about seeing someones flesh actually being affected by the attacks of others in real life; hearing what it sounds like for someone to be kicked full force in the back or stomach. To see the real pain and anguish in someones face as they are outnumbered by a laughing crowd. I felt so helpless.
In some sense, you can see how they would have more "justice" than we have here in America. What happens for us is that the criminals get a slap on the wrist and maybe sent to jail for some time, where they bide their time until their release. There is no immediate gratification for the person that was affected. You can see how those here would feel as though justice had been served, and in earthly terms, it has been. It also shows how they think about community in keeping each other accountable. Even so, for someone who is used to what we would call "civilized" justice, it was a shock. I am very thankful that when I sin, that God does not see it, and expose it to the world for a public beating (although sometimes metaphorically that does happen). Instead, He shows me unmeasurable grace over and over again.
Julianna
Hugging is one of the many awkward experiences that a Westerner may have when living in Rwanda. When the Rwandese hug, they do this sort of reaching out to touch each others shoulders thing, followed by a hand shake. As you know, in America it is almost always one or the other. For the longest time I could never tell which one they were going for, and it made for some really awkward situations. Especially when I would just go in for the kill when I saw they wanted a hug, but then realized that they were keeping me at a distance. Then I would be so distracted by the fool I just made out of myself that I didn't notice the fact that I completely left them hanging on the whole hand-shake follow. Not to mention, whenever they shake hands, they don't intertwine the thumbs (whether you have noticed or not, we do that). They just sort of touch their hands, wrists, or forearms together. I have now perfected the method though, and wonder if I won't accidentally carry it on back in America.
Bugs
There are actually relatively few strange creatures that we deal with (thankfully). The most common are lizards (everywhere), small thick black spiders, mosquitoes and other flying pests (of course), and giant toads. Iman Ishimye (praise God) that there has only been one sighting of a snake. It was a two-headed snake that Andrew quickly got control of and cut both heads off of.
Anyway, about our second month here, we started getting dozens of bites a night, even though we were using the mosquito net. I was just positive every day that I would get Malaria because I thought they were mosquito bites. We finally realized that they couldn't be, as they were on every part of the body, even those covered with clothing. We ruled out bed bugs, and finally figured out that they were fleas. Drew had been making friends with a dog, and shortly after we started having this problem. Two weeks ago we took an entire day and using boiling water, washed, literally, every cloth item that we owned. Bags, rags, suitcases, shoes, clothing--EVERYTHING. Thankfully we have incredible workers that helped us. It was such an intense job, especially because everything is done by hand and then air dried. Not to mention it was boiling hot. When the storms started, we had to bring everything in and then put them back out when the sun came out again. We are now flea free though! Hopefully it will stay that way.
Thugs
I really only made this category because I couldn't think of anything else relevant that rhymed with "hugs" and "bugs," but actually, I suppose I have been exposed to this category. Technologically (I'm not referring to other ways), Rwanda is decades and decades behind America. Usually (though not always), crime in America is complicated and organized. Our movies consist of the most intense and complicated crime plots ever. Here, it seems like their crime is simple. They need something, so they take it.
Their way of dealing with crime is also fascinating. The court system is not nearly the thing that it is in America. I know that it exists, but I haven't heard a word about it, or seen any effects of it since we have been here. It seems like the way they deal with local crime is relatively primal. While our first impulse after a theft is to call the police, here that is not the case. If a thief is caught, those around him deal with him as they see appropriate to the crime. Usually the crime is theft, and the punishment is a good beating. Drew and I have experienced watching this a couple of times, actually. Just a week ago we were at the bus stop waiting, when we saw a crowd of people about 20 feet away from us shouting. We realized quickly that they were beating up some young man. I have never experienced anything like that. I grew up with all women, and we didn't even wrestle (Except for my sister Katie Beth, who beat me up on one or two occasions)! It was so surreal. After all the violent movies I have been exposed to, a "simple" beating really shook me up. There is something about seeing someones flesh actually being affected by the attacks of others in real life; hearing what it sounds like for someone to be kicked full force in the back or stomach. To see the real pain and anguish in someones face as they are outnumbered by a laughing crowd. I felt so helpless.
In some sense, you can see how they would have more "justice" than we have here in America. What happens for us is that the criminals get a slap on the wrist and maybe sent to jail for some time, where they bide their time until their release. There is no immediate gratification for the person that was affected. You can see how those here would feel as though justice had been served, and in earthly terms, it has been. It also shows how they think about community in keeping each other accountable. Even so, for someone who is used to what we would call "civilized" justice, it was a shock. I am very thankful that when I sin, that God does not see it, and expose it to the world for a public beating (although sometimes metaphorically that does happen). Instead, He shows me unmeasurable grace over and over again.
Julianna
Monday, November 21, 2011
Photo: Going out for a nice anniversary dinner
So here's the story. Completely characteristic of Drew's and my current record, all of our anniversary plans failed miserably:) Origionally we were going to take a reunion road trip (we went on a road trip for our honeymoon), but he couldn't get the motorcycle he has been fixing up and running in time, because business has been so heavy. Then we had planned another couple of things, but had some unexpected expenses come up, so we just decided to stay here and spend the day Sunday together, as its our usual tradition to do that anyway. We thought spending it in our cozy little room talking about memories would be great. As life on the mission field sometimes goes, we ended up entertaining guests for the majority of the day, so by the time we actually got out to go to dinner, it was dark, and thus the bad lighting. We had a great time though, and we still got to spend good time together. I told Drew, "who cares about all those 1-year anniversary traditions anyway? The cake would have freezer burn, and I would end up crying because I had gained weight and couldn't fit in my dress anymore." We always have fun when we are together, and therefore it was a wonderful day over-all!
November 21: After our First Anniversary : )
It is difficult for me to describe what one year married to the greatest man on the planet is like. I mean, its a privilege that only I have in all the world, so how can I even begin? Although I know my attempt will be far too inadequate, I will do my best.
Being married to Drew means:
-Having an incredible example of love and service for others. Every day.
-Being completely assured of his faithfulness and commitment to me. He is the most loyal person I know.
-I am appreciated for the work I do. He is always thanking me for cleaning, washing, cooking, etc.
-I get to be married to someone with whom I have so much in common, as far as interests go. I love that we love to do the same things. We have had some of the greatest times together on road trips, bummy movie days, camping trips, playing cards, going on walks, cooking together, etc etc etc.
-I am consistently encouraged to continue in my personal pursuits.
-If anyone heard him raving about my cooking, they would think that my food was comparative to the work of the greatest chef on planet earth. At the end of almost every meal he says, "This is the best meal you've ever made." I can't tell if he has found some way to justify saying that, or if miraculously my cooking skills are increasing every day.
-I get to be married to such a stud (he is so handsome!).
-I can confront him with various problems without fear of his being too easily offended, and with the assurance that he will do his very best to change.
-I am exposed to the quirkiest and most incredibly random actions ever. Seriously, I wish any one person could experience this aspect of my life.
-I never have to worry about him being vain or conceited. Haha this is sometimes to a fault, and I have to assign his brother to remind him to shave and shower for our wedding day:)
-I never have to call a plumber, electrician, mover, or handy-man to fix or do anything. Any kind of problem we have with our various homes, he can fix it.
-Speaking of, I never have to do horrible half-way hanging or decorating jobs anymore. He is great at getting pictures up straight and securely.
-I am assured that he thinks I'm beautiful (externally and internally).
-I get to experience some of the most genuine and tender acts of service. I could literally list hundreds of them. I have actually kept a list in my journal of many of them and was reading it over yesterday. I will give you one example. This past January, we were taking a group of friends snowboarding up in Boone, NC. Snowboarding is one of Drew's passions, but I don't enjoy it as much because I get so cold and wet. He knew I was worried about it, so after work one day (he always wants to come straight home because he is so tired from working so hard all day), he went scowering all of the relative stores in town looking for ski bibs for me. By the way, he despises shopping.
-I get to experience the beautiful combination of a realistic, but tending towards optimistic, outlook on life. It perfectly balances my realistic, but tending towards pessimistic viewpoint.
-I never have to be embarrassed because of his being lazy in his work. He is one of the hardest, if not the hardest, worker I know.
-Come to think of it, I never have to be embarrassed of him at all (except because of some of the really, really corny jokes he makes. Especially because the Rwandans don't even remotely get his sense of humor and it makes for some super awkward situations).
-I am forgiven and given exceptional grace over, and over, and over, and over again.
-I can completely be "myself" with him. This is not some weird self-discovery bit, but it just means that he accepts me for all of the various and sundry moods and phases that I go through. If I'm obsessed with avocados, he makes it a point to slip in avocados wherever he can. If I despise avocados because I puked them up, he thinks of all kinds of creative ways to tell people that we really don't want them. If I am very serious and thoughtful, he allows me to have that time and participates in conversations relating to that. If I want to think of every possible stupid dance move and display them while I listen to the i pod in our room, he voluntarily sits there watching and laughing for an hour.
-I can expect random gifts (even when I don't want them because of spending money) any time that he finds himself out and about alone.
-I am able to watch him consistently grow, mature, and become more and more a mighty man of God.
-Even though he is not a futuristic thinker like me, he will discuss future plans as often as I ask.
-I never have to worry about whether or not he will get along with my friends or family. He loves them all so well in very individual ways.
-I get to discuss theology with an incredibly wise individual. He puts me to shame with his knowledge of the contents of the Bible paired with his balanced way of thinking.
-I can be confident that anything free he finds (on the side of the road, dumpsters, etc) will come home with him. This is a gift and a curse, but mostly a gift. It means that a good 25% of our possessions we have gotten for free!
-I never have to feel afraid (physically) when I am with him. He is SO strong, and has been ready more than once to fight someone who was antagonizing me. One time I got robbed when I was all alone and I was even more thankful for his protection of me after that.
-If I ask him to help me, he never even hesitates or complains. Much of the time he volunteers it anyway.
-He can keep up intellectually with my deepest philosophical thoughts, and also my dumbest surface-level silliness.
-I am encouraged in my relationship with God and others, without being reprimanded or pushed too hard.
-Plans are fluid for him. If the plans change, or more often if I change my mind, he is 90% of the time up for anything. I never have to worry about him being cranky or complaining about it. He is so flexible and can really make any situation enjoyable.
-In fact, he is up for anything with anyone usually (remember when you took him yard-saling, HJ?).
-I can vent without fear of judgment. That doesn't mean he won't speak the truth to me, in love, but it means that I don't have to be worried about harsh responses.
-I get to hear the sweetest, most genuine comments without being concerned about it being verbal vomit. I really despise (and always have) the mushy gooshy verbal affirmations. But when you have a history with someone and the assurance of a lifetime commitment, everything changes. Especially when the really precious spoken things are much fewer than the actions, you can more assuredly know that they are true (plus, Drew is NOT afraid to tell me the truth or be straight up with me). Let me give one example that I remembered reading back in my journal. One day this past June, I had been really sick and throwing up. We were laying in bed and I said, "Drew, what if I throw up in the bed?" He said very gently, "I would pick you up, take you to the shower, and wash you off. Then I would change the sheets and carry you back to bed." It was so matter-of-fact, but so sweet! I believe with all my heart that is exactly what he would have done.
-I get to have the most wonderful companion for the rest of my life.
I admire and respect you so much, Drew! Happy 1-year anniversary!
Julianna
Being married to Drew means:
-Having an incredible example of love and service for others. Every day.
-Being completely assured of his faithfulness and commitment to me. He is the most loyal person I know.
-I am appreciated for the work I do. He is always thanking me for cleaning, washing, cooking, etc.
-I get to be married to someone with whom I have so much in common, as far as interests go. I love that we love to do the same things. We have had some of the greatest times together on road trips, bummy movie days, camping trips, playing cards, going on walks, cooking together, etc etc etc.
-I am consistently encouraged to continue in my personal pursuits.
-If anyone heard him raving about my cooking, they would think that my food was comparative to the work of the greatest chef on planet earth. At the end of almost every meal he says, "This is the best meal you've ever made." I can't tell if he has found some way to justify saying that, or if miraculously my cooking skills are increasing every day.
-I get to be married to such a stud (he is so handsome!).
-I can confront him with various problems without fear of his being too easily offended, and with the assurance that he will do his very best to change.
-I am exposed to the quirkiest and most incredibly random actions ever. Seriously, I wish any one person could experience this aspect of my life.
-I never have to worry about him being vain or conceited. Haha this is sometimes to a fault, and I have to assign his brother to remind him to shave and shower for our wedding day:)
-I never have to call a plumber, electrician, mover, or handy-man to fix or do anything. Any kind of problem we have with our various homes, he can fix it.
-Speaking of, I never have to do horrible half-way hanging or decorating jobs anymore. He is great at getting pictures up straight and securely.
-I am assured that he thinks I'm beautiful (externally and internally).
-I get to experience some of the most genuine and tender acts of service. I could literally list hundreds of them. I have actually kept a list in my journal of many of them and was reading it over yesterday. I will give you one example. This past January, we were taking a group of friends snowboarding up in Boone, NC. Snowboarding is one of Drew's passions, but I don't enjoy it as much because I get so cold and wet. He knew I was worried about it, so after work one day (he always wants to come straight home because he is so tired from working so hard all day), he went scowering all of the relative stores in town looking for ski bibs for me. By the way, he despises shopping.
-I get to experience the beautiful combination of a realistic, but tending towards optimistic, outlook on life. It perfectly balances my realistic, but tending towards pessimistic viewpoint.
-I never have to be embarrassed because of his being lazy in his work. He is one of the hardest, if not the hardest, worker I know.
-Come to think of it, I never have to be embarrassed of him at all (except because of some of the really, really corny jokes he makes. Especially because the Rwandans don't even remotely get his sense of humor and it makes for some super awkward situations).
-I am forgiven and given exceptional grace over, and over, and over, and over again.
-I can completely be "myself" with him. This is not some weird self-discovery bit, but it just means that he accepts me for all of the various and sundry moods and phases that I go through. If I'm obsessed with avocados, he makes it a point to slip in avocados wherever he can. If I despise avocados because I puked them up, he thinks of all kinds of creative ways to tell people that we really don't want them. If I am very serious and thoughtful, he allows me to have that time and participates in conversations relating to that. If I want to think of every possible stupid dance move and display them while I listen to the i pod in our room, he voluntarily sits there watching and laughing for an hour.
-I can expect random gifts (even when I don't want them because of spending money) any time that he finds himself out and about alone.
-I am able to watch him consistently grow, mature, and become more and more a mighty man of God.
-Even though he is not a futuristic thinker like me, he will discuss future plans as often as I ask.
-I never have to worry about whether or not he will get along with my friends or family. He loves them all so well in very individual ways.
-I get to discuss theology with an incredibly wise individual. He puts me to shame with his knowledge of the contents of the Bible paired with his balanced way of thinking.
-I can be confident that anything free he finds (on the side of the road, dumpsters, etc) will come home with him. This is a gift and a curse, but mostly a gift. It means that a good 25% of our possessions we have gotten for free!
-I never have to feel afraid (physically) when I am with him. He is SO strong, and has been ready more than once to fight someone who was antagonizing me. One time I got robbed when I was all alone and I was even more thankful for his protection of me after that.
-If I ask him to help me, he never even hesitates or complains. Much of the time he volunteers it anyway.
-He can keep up intellectually with my deepest philosophical thoughts, and also my dumbest surface-level silliness.
-I am encouraged in my relationship with God and others, without being reprimanded or pushed too hard.
-Plans are fluid for him. If the plans change, or more often if I change my mind, he is 90% of the time up for anything. I never have to worry about him being cranky or complaining about it. He is so flexible and can really make any situation enjoyable.
-In fact, he is up for anything with anyone usually (remember when you took him yard-saling, HJ?).
-I can vent without fear of judgment. That doesn't mean he won't speak the truth to me, in love, but it means that I don't have to be worried about harsh responses.
-I get to hear the sweetest, most genuine comments without being concerned about it being verbal vomit. I really despise (and always have) the mushy gooshy verbal affirmations. But when you have a history with someone and the assurance of a lifetime commitment, everything changes. Especially when the really precious spoken things are much fewer than the actions, you can more assuredly know that they are true (plus, Drew is NOT afraid to tell me the truth or be straight up with me). Let me give one example that I remembered reading back in my journal. One day this past June, I had been really sick and throwing up. We were laying in bed and I said, "Drew, what if I throw up in the bed?" He said very gently, "I would pick you up, take you to the shower, and wash you off. Then I would change the sheets and carry you back to bed." It was so matter-of-fact, but so sweet! I believe with all my heart that is exactly what he would have done.
-I get to have the most wonderful companion for the rest of my life.
I admire and respect you so much, Drew! Happy 1-year anniversary!
Julianna
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